Have you ever had a picture of what something was going to look like, and how the process was going to go, only to have it be nothing whatsoever like you planned??
When you first started homeschooling, the idea was so great. You and your sweet kids, that you missed so much, would all be together. You'd laugh, and you'd learn, and they would just love you so much for all the effort you put into making their schooldays so wonderful. And they would truly appreciate everything you sacrificed to allow them this opportunity. I mean, okay, so they wouldn't be outward about it, but the peaceful, happy, straight-A students you had would be acknowledgement and reward enough for all you went through......
Then you woke up from your fantasy and realized some days are anything but dreamy when homeschooling, and you feel like your kids hate you, even if they would never say that to your face. You are overwhelmed, too broke, and fear that the only thing the kids really learned from you are the "safe" curse words you force out of your mouth to keep from uttering really bad ones:
"shhhhh---sugar!"
"OH Fuuuu---dge!
Actually, I don't say those particular ones. My personal vocabulary stems from movies quotes, such as "Son of a NUTcracker!" of ELF, and "Oh Flapdoodle!" a la Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium.
You get my drift.....
Then you reach the stage where the first one has to take a state required assessment to make sure that they are actually learning something, and not just sitting around the house all day, watching re-runs of Phineas and Ferb on Netflix.
You are so nervous!
{ How did he do? How did I do? I mean, I am the teacher, principal, and student counselor here. He's not really getting tested. It's ME. What is his ability thus far going to say about my ability to teach him? How will I know that he is really ready to test? I never test him, really. And he is never in a roomful of other strange kids, silently seated for over an hour with a pencil, I mean, I knew that kind of thing would make him nuts. That kind of setting is exactly what I was trying to avoid putting him in, why else would I be homeschooling him?!?}
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| You are seriously afraid the test will turn out like this... |
You stress and worry about it for so long, and then when you are there at the test, he is taking way longer than all the other kids to finish the test, and you are having a nervous breakdown in the hallway, all the other moms and kids having already left.
But, then after a few weeks of waiting that seem much longer, you finally receive the results in the mail, and it shows that he is at his age level for math, beyond his grade level for reading and grammar and other subjects, and there was absolutely nothing to freak out about, you nincompoop.
So you begin to realize that even on your bad days, just the mere fact that the kids are at home actually gives them an advantage in school. They learn better with the one on one instruction you can provide. You don't rush them through a subject so they can keep up with the rest of the class, you help them to master it. They don't have the nervousness of being in a classroom setting, they can relax in their home environment. No peer pressure worries, no bad or good grades to stress about. Just learning the concept. So no matter how bad you were at keeping up with your schedule, or how consistent you were with the curriculum you chose, they are still learning. And it is all going to be okay. I mean, what's the worst that can happen? They tell you that you aren't good enough to be your kids' teacher, and they kick your kids out of homeschool? I'm pretty sure that's not going to happen. You just get results back that only really tell you how well of a test-taker they are, and then you go from there. The results aren't even looked at by anyone but you.
But then the next year comes, and your next child is going to be tested. And this is a whole new issue because your second child, unlike the first, has dyslexia. So test-taking is the huge issue. She may know all the answers, but can't read the questions to figure out what to answer. She may have learned a TON and gotten really smart this year, since you researched all the best ways to teach a child with dyslexia, but she won't really be able to sow that on a test.
I was really looking to this dumb test to tell me that I was a good teacher. But if my dyslexic daughter can't read the question properly, even if she really knows the answer, she might answer incorrectly, due to misunderstanding. This test doesn't show how much she actually learned. So it doesn't really show how well I taught her. And, to be honest, she did better than I thought she might. So I am going to redo some parts of 3rd grade with her this fall, but mostly we are going to move forward. I was doing a grade behind in reading, and she was at that grade, according to the results, so she really did awesome. And I will move forward to the next grade level for her. It is a hard judgement call, but thankfully for us, we don't answer to a school board, principal. or school district. I make those kinds of decisions with my husband, and we do our best. If she had been in public school, would they have failed her? Most likely.
Be encouraged, dear parents. Tests don't tell the whole story. And they don't validate us. And things. like home schooling, don't always turn out the way you pictured it. Most of the time. But the kids are still benefiting from the home education. Don't give up!
